Posts in English

Petrichor and I

I love learning new words. When I bumped into petrichor I just knew we were meant for one another. I just didn’t know how exactly. It all started with Neil Gaiman, famous author, writing an episode for the Doctor Who series called “The Doctor’s Wife”. It is a favorite episode for many more reasons than petrichor (Scrapyard at the end of the universe, Iris as the Tardis, “Did you wish really hard?”).

When I got the meaning of petrichor (the smell of the first drops of rain touching the soil) I knew it was the one word my vocabulary was missing. I don’t think there’s an equivalent in Swedish. I didn’t know there was a word for that magical smell at all! I’ve loved that smell since I was a child. And as it turns out I’m not alone. In fact there’s a scientific explanation to petrichor. The smell consists of two things which during rain are released into the air: A secrete oil from some plants and chemicals produced by bacteria in the soil.

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Something like a couple of years passed (who keeps track anyway?). Then I sat and wrote the lyrics for “Come Petrichor”. It wasn’t easy and I was determined to rewrite until I was completely satisfied. A few months later I started putting the music together and something like doom ambient worked it’s way out. I still wasn’t convinced it would be good. (That’s when it made it to the video installation week. I thought at least I can use it for that).

I finished the structure of the song and the vocals and handed it over to Nicko. When the guitars were added I just knew it was one of the best songs we’ve ever written and arranged. Even Nicko said: “I didn’t think we could top “A Rock For A Heart”, but I think we just did”.

2015-08-25 16.13.30-1I love the apocalyptic doom feeling. I love the rock meets electronic ambient. I love the dark and muddy lyrics that breaths of a past and a future. I miss the fact that I tried to make it clear it was a fig tree in the lyrics, but eventually was forced to cut it out (too many syllables…). But right now it doesn’t matter. Right now it’s everything I love from a song and it’s even got a peak moment right after the bridge.

Well, dear readers, that’s my petrichor for you. I could never hope that you love it as I do, but I sure hope you’ll enjoy listening to it! So look out for our new song, it’s coming really soon!

Studio blunderings

Well, we’ve come to the conclusion that sometimes there’s no point doing things you don’t like and especially if you’re not that good at it (and lack the equipment), like mastering songs. We’ve hired Digitalfabriken for the task of mastering the Rachel Green EP and “I See You Now”. We liked the result and so we hired them for “A Rock For A Heart” too.

With “A Rock For A Heart” it rather turned out to be a circus. First Nicko and I managed to send the final mix of the song as mono tracks (omg…).

Then Niklas Winde was disappointed with the mastered result of his remix (to much compression), but got to work that out with the studio technician. Everyone was happy.

When we finally thought everything was satisfactory Nicko woke me up in the middle of the night (no kidding!) to tell me that during the second chorus the sound changes. I had noticed that just a few hours earlier, but dismissed it as my headset getting worn. In deed, some mastering hick-up that we (stressed parents of a 1.5 year old child) didn’t manage to hear when we tried to listen earlier.

Then, just to complicate things, it turned out that Digitalfabriken were moving and had packed all equipment. Therefore they couldn’t check what had happened instantly. But good things comes to those who wait and now “A Rock For A Heart” is released and just in the past week reached Spotify as well.

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On the subject of loss

There are many losses in the world and to me it seems that the socially acceptable loss to grief are when a friend or a family member dies. For a certain time people can put up with the mourning process, but in my experience the process takes much longer. Loosing a pet is also very painful, but you’ll only get sympathy and understanding from those who know. To others it’s “just a pet”, when in fact it’s been your best friend for so many years.

But for loosing a dream, which could be just as painful as the above, you’ll get little sympathy. A clap on your shoulder at it’s best and some comforting words. However, the mourning process is just the same. But this time you’re forced to suffer in silence and the grieving comes with guilt, what-ifs and self-blaming. I think there are so many people all around us mourning the loss of a dream. Be it big or be it small, it really doesn’t matter as long as it really mattered to you. The fact that what you expected didn’t come true can be very hard to deal with and it requires a mourning process. It can be anything from a broken heart, disease, cancelled plans, a failed career, a child birth that didn’t turn out as expected, well, you name it. Where I sit it’s not much talked about. Then mourning process could isolate you. I know it has done that to me at times.

When I wrote “A Rock For A Heart” I was deep in grief. My first cat, Sidharta, with whom I had such a special connection, died in cancer long before his time. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, I had to make the decision to put him to sleep. “A Rock For A Heart” was born. A friend of mine said that there is a field in Heaven for the spirit animals where they wait for their masters. I envisioned it now and then as a comfort.

It’s been six years now and so much has happened. I have lost dreams, some really big ones, mourned them and moved on. But I’ve also been blessed in many ways. I try to remember that. Therefore as the years have gone by the lyrics of “A Rock For A Heart” has come to mean a lot more to me. In it’s essence it is about grieving and it is about making the difficult decisions in life. Somehow the tough grown-up part of life and of being the responsible.

bench of thoughts

Song – A Rock For A Heart

Our music is going through something of a rebirth. I like it! I think we are more and more finding our style. And honestly, it hasn’t been this much fun to make music for quite a while.

“A Rock For A Heart” is a song that I wrote in 2009 actually, but I haven’t really had the courage to record until now. I’ve just had the idea about blending punk drums and an electronic touch. So here it is, a quite dark song if you listen to the lyrics, with a blend of punk, rock, ambient and electronic.

A friend of ours, Niklas Winde, has made an electronic remix of the song. Taking the electronic touch a lot further. We work in very different ways, but it has been a broadening experience for all of us to work together. More about Niklas in another blog post!

On the subject of crazy ideas and having fun. I was considering what to shoot for the cover art for ages. Then I came up with the idea of muddy arms and a rock dipped in mud (a lovely blend of soil and water). In black and white the rock actually looks like a real heart. A little gross, I agree, but quite a bit rock ‘n roll.


Title: A Rock For A Heart
Genre: Punk/Rock/Ambient/Electronic
Lyrics: A Rock For A Heart
Available On: SoundCloud, Spotify
Remix: Electronic remix by Niklas Winde
Released: 20/8 2015

Petrichor – Video Installation Week (7/7)

I like hiking and we have some nice grounds with forest near the house. These shots are from that area, or rather the outskirts. The not so nice parts, but there’s something a little apocalyptic about it that goes well with the music. The music is new, an embryo called “Come Petrichor” that I’ve just gotten started with. We’ll see if it will be finished and released someday. In any case I just think the pictures show petrichor in an intriguing way.

Come petrichor

the color of my blood

the aching bleeding scars

wet soil soothes the heart.

Come petrichor

fresh roots tear their way

through the cleansing dark

from my buried past.

This is also the last of our video installations for now. We hope you have enjoyed this slightly unusual (for us anyway) project. There’s been pieces of the past, there’s been poetic moments, some humor, art and music from both the past and the future.

Autumn – Video Installation Week (5/7)

This video is a blend of a wonderful snapshot I got in 2010 when we enjoyed a particularly beautiful autumn in Sweden and an unpublished song from the archive called “All I Earn Is Madness”. The lyrics are about the games people play and how fooled you are in the beginning before you learn the rules (well, you might still be fooled, but you’d recognize it sooner with experience). The song as a whole turned out a bit dull for my taste, but the chorus is nice and jazzy.

In all it’s seriousness and thoughtfullness this video also has some crazy sense of humor. I wonder if anyone will notice.

Mermaid – Video Installation Week (4/7)

Shooting a body of water from the boat almost certainly comes out well. The variety of the water and the speed of the boat makes every clip interesting. We have a lot of them! When choosing which one to make an installation out of, a fork of the river in Borneo along with the song Mermaid became our choice.

Alone – Video Installation Week (3/7)

This contribution, called “Alone” in English, is filmed, edited and produced by Linn Rydahl. The music is from one of my songs: “Unguarded”. The song has never been officially released, not sure why. Maybe someday.

This video is more of a short film and I’m proud to have it featured in our video installation week.