There are many losses in the world and to me it seems that the socially acceptable loss to grief are when a friend or a family member dies. For a certain time people can put up with the mourning process, but in my experience the process takes much longer. Loosing a pet is also very painful, but you’ll only get sympathy and understanding from those who know. To others it’s “just a pet”, when in fact it’s been your best friend for so many years.
But for loosing a dream, which could be just as painful as the above, you’ll get little sympathy. A clap on your shoulder at it’s best and some comforting words. However, the mourning process is just the same. But this time you’re forced to suffer in silence and the grieving comes with guilt, what-ifs and self-blaming. I think there are so many people all around us mourning the loss of a dream. Be it big or be it small, it really doesn’t matter as long as it really mattered to you. The fact that what you expected didn’t come true can be very hard to deal with and it requires a mourning process. It can be anything from a broken heart, disease, cancelled plans, a failed career, a child birth that didn’t turn out as expected, well, you name it. Where I sit it’s not much talked about. Then mourning process could isolate you. I know it has done that to me at times.
When I wrote “A Rock For A Heart” I was deep in grief. My first cat, Sidharta, with whom I had such a special connection, died in cancer long before his time. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, I had to make the decision to put him to sleep. “A Rock For A Heart” was born. A friend of mine said that there is a field in Heaven for the spirit animals where they wait for their masters. I envisioned it now and then as a comfort.
It’s been six years now and so much has happened. I have lost dreams, some really big ones, mourned them and moved on. But I’ve also been blessed in many ways. I try to remember that. Therefore as the years have gone by the lyrics of “A Rock For A Heart” has come to mean a lot more to me. In it’s essence it is about grieving and it is about making the difficult decisions in life. Somehow the tough grown-up part of life and of being the responsible.