In pursuit of passion
This passage is from Evanescere, and it’s one of my favourites. Let’s heal the divine feminine in all of us together. Let tomorrow be filled with mutual respect, care and consciousness. Let light reach, and correct, where darkness has dwelled. Let tomorrow be a beautiful day.
In pursuit of passion
“Child?” said Earth. She’s caring like that. Doesn’t want her children to suffer.
“Yes,” I replied, not wanting to keep her waiting. I had sought her unconsciously. Not asking my inner turmoil to call out to her, but somehow it did. “I’m so scared,” I told her. “I don’t know what to do with this. Part of me enjoys it, but most of me is lost and frightened.”
“Passion is the one part of you yet to be awakened,” Earth said. “It doesn’t happen without pain. You have deep wounds to heal.”
“What was unconsciously done, can be consciously undone,” I replied. I had read that, while trying to understand the circle of energy. The energy of passion.
“Yes,” Earth confirmed. “Then change to heal and explore the shadows of your core.”
“It’s very dark there. Like a cold cave. I hear voices – sad, wounded voices – echoing there. It’s not a place I’d like to go.” My voice was just a whisper.
“And that is why, my child, you have to go there. While that cave remains a place of darkness and sadness you cannot embrace your full potential. The full power of passion.” Earth was determined, but not reproachful.
“I will,” I said. Tears clouded my eyes as I turned inward, seeking that cold cave and its captives. That mixed pain and sadness belonging to the female collective consciousness, the last barrier to truly embracing divine femininity and passion. Those sighing, tearful, lamenting voices. A lifetime of suppression, sacrifice and silent anger that no-one had ever seen. (A frozen anger, an anger that turns its victims into empty shells.) I stood, silent before them, wondering what to say. They were lining up before me.
Then I noticed a peacock by my side.
“Be proud of who you are,” said the peacock. “Let them see your pride. Shine with that pride.” I was collecting my breath.
“I greet you,” I said. “I see you. I feel you.” I was about to say I am you, but stopped myself. Instead I said: “I was you.”
I felt something shifting inside. Strings were snapping. Bonds were breaking. The lined women were looking at me curiously.
“I’m Heartache,” said the first woman. And then the other women followed her and murmured their names to me as well.
“Silence, Anger, Submission, Lost, Dependence, Hurt, Broken, Misunderstood, Abused, Lonely…,” and there were more. They were so many. I couldn’t see the end of the line. But the murmur of their voices continued and spread ghostly whispers throughout the cave.
“Enough,” I said. “Enough! These are not your names. Not even part of who you are. These are only lessons. It is time to heal. Let what was unconsciously done be consciously undone.”
The cave was changing now. The darkness was fading, the walls turned soft and delicately pink. The voices had changed from woeful to surprised and then erupted in gleeful laughter. The figures were no longer still but dancing. It was such a relief. I was panting. All that darkness flowing like a river down my legs, through my feet, out along my roots, to be transformed by Mother Earth herself.
“We’re ready to try again,” I said, more to myself than anyone else.
“I am too,” he said where he stood at the entrance. The women stopped for a moment and then greeted him. Welcomed him. I reached out to him. Locking my eyes on his.
“See what you can do when you believe,” said the peacock next to me, with a feathered display. He waved his tail like a fan. Then he left.
This passage is from Evanesere, and one of my favourites. Let’s heal the divine feminine together.
“I’ve missed you so much,” he said. He was so close now.
“And I you,” I replied. He held me. When I opened my eyes, a brilliant light was blinding us. I could no longer see the women, but I heard their anticipation. A huge flower was about to unfold her petals. Slowly, slowly.